


Moving Fordward

by ashamtly



Series: Afterwards [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Study, Feels, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, Male-Female Friendship, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, Post-Canon, other characters mainly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:13:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashamtly/pseuds/ashamtly
Summary: "... facts are... that she loves her family so much that she would stop at nothing to get her father and brother back; facts are that she left her mother with nothing more than a note, facts are she has been living away from home for more than 3 years now, facts are that though she might not be 18 years old yet, she's more of an adult than anyone else her age or younger, facts are that... she's getting tired of having to answer to parents again, of being treated like a girl again, of..."(A.K.A. What Pidge learns about family)
Relationships: Colleen Holt & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Krolia (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt
Series: Afterwards [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1250105
Kudos: 32





	Moving Fordward

It is not like she doesn't love her mother, 'cause she does! And she does so dearly. "  
It's just that... it has been years since they lived all together; since they sat at a table and ate like a family should; since they shared a roof; since they had to interact with each other pretty much 70-65% of their time.

It's not as if she didn't miss her family, quite the opposite really!  
It's just that... it's been so, so long since she was a daddy's little girl, Matt's little sister, mom's daughter, that...

It's not as if it bothers her; as if they bother her.  
It's just that..., she had gotten so used to doing her own thing without anybody questioning it, without having to give any explanations.

It's just that..., that...

"Katie Holt!" a voice calls from far away

It is just that... she doesn't know how to be Katie anymore, and so she volts.

*  
*  
*  
*  
*

The thing is that she has always liked to work with proof, hard, cold facts; 'cause in the end, one can feel or believe whatever they want, but it's hard to fight against facts.

And the facts are... that she loves her family so much that she would stop at nothing to get her father and brother back; facts are that she left her mother with nothing more than a note, facts are she has been living away from home for more than 3 years now, facts are that though she might not be 18 years old yet, she's more of an adult than anyone else her age or younger, facts are that... she's getting tired of having to answer to parents again, of being treated like a girl again, of...

"KATIE!" the same voice from before yells.

Facts are, she can't go back, so she runs away.

*  
*  
*  
*

Matt used to tell her, she was too blunt, that's why not everyone liked her; 'cause there was such a disparity between her looks and her personality, that some people found it difficult to deal with. She never really believed him, 'til Kerberos happened and Pidge Gunderson was born, 'til she became a boy, and suddenly, people didn't have a problem with her bluntness, with the way she spoke and the way she behaved, so she started to think that maybe, just maybe her big brother was into something.

She would never admit it of course, but that was the main reason why she had such a difficult time coming out as well... she, 'cause she feared that... they would suddenly behave differently, spect other things from her, but luckily that didn't happen so.... she could just... be.

"Katie, sweety, can we just..."

She would never admit it, but she didn't want to lose that, so she could only hide.

*  
*  
*

"So here's where you were", Pidge isn't surprised they found her, so much as who found her.

"Whose idea was it to send you?" she couldn't help but ask

"make a guess" Keith shrugs while trying to make some space for himself, next to her, under the engine of The Atlas

"Matt" she decides, and since Keith doesn't even try to deny it, she guesses she was right.

"So why are you hiding?" Keith asks, going straight to the point, something she's usually fond of, but now...

"Who says I am?" she can't help but demand

"You usually prefer to work from your lab, or outside in the hangar, not under the ship" Keith points out as if he were just stating the truth.

"hmmm...." it's her noncommittal answer, after all, she could ask the same of him, but.... strangely enough she thinks his and Shiro's situation might be a little more complicated than hers

"Matt says you have been weird lately" Keith continues to carry on, as if she hadn't made it clear, she doesn't want to talk about... this

"I'm always weird" she states, 'cause it's the truth.

"Weirder than usual" he amends "with your mom," he says, turning to look at her with that piercing clear look, so... she can not help but look away.

"Pidge" Keith calls her, and she's so glad, so happy to be called that again, that she has to look back

"say it again" she demands

"What..."

"My name! Say it again!" she insists

"Pidge...?" Keith obliged clearly confused, so, she decides to confide in him

"I don't think I can be her again, Katie" she elaborates "my mom's Katie, and... I don't think I want to live with my parents again" she continues, 'cause once she has said it, she can't help but go on "Am I a terrible daughter because of that? I love my mom and my dad, but I can't Keith! I can't live with my parents again! I'm my own person now, I... I do things my own way now, I... I... Why can Matt just live wherever he wants while I... I..." and suddenly, she cannot breathe, she doesn't want to hurt her mom, but... but...

"Hey! Hey! Pidge calm down, deep breaths, come on, count with me" and suddenly Keith is there, with his hand on her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes, breathing together with her, and calling her Pidge. And suddenly, it occurs to her that if there's someone that could maybe understand what she's going through, it would be him.

"Ho-how did you do it?" she manages to ask, once she has gotten back her bearing "How did you manage to tell Krolia you didn't want to live with her?" she elaborates

For a moment there, Keith just blinks at her, as if he were not quite sure about how they got to this conversation, but then..., then he just smiles kind of sheepishly.

"I didn't?" Keith managed to answer looking kind of flustered

"What do you mean you didn't?!" she exclaims, for some reason getting upset.

Luckily for her, Keith is also a different person now than the one he was before, therefore he doesn't take offense and simply answers

"Well... Krolia and I..., Mom and I" he amends quickly "are a little different from other parents and children I think, even for Galra standards" he continues looking far away into the stars, and suddenly, it occurs to her that he's talking to a guy that up to a few months (years for him) didn't even know he still had a mother...

"Keith, I..."

"We spent 2 years on the back of a space whale" the once hot-headed boy continued, seemingly not noticing her attempt to... what? apologize? "and that somehow helped, but... truth is, we spent almost as much time together as we did apart" he finally admits, managing to look a little... embarrassed? 

"What do you mean?" she has to ask now, ´cause that..., that sounded ominous and well she has never been good at silencing her curiosity.

"Nothing bad!" he amends quickly "it's just that... there's a certain rhythm to loneliness, in the beginning, it's a beat, you just want to get rid of, but somehow are unable to shake off; then it gets louder, and louder 'til it's impossible to ignore; then it becomes overbearing, ´til it shallows you, and you can't hear anything else, you can't hear anyone else..."

"Keith..." she tries again, ´cause she doesn't like the sound of that, she doesn't like thinking about how he probably felt like that for must of his life, but must of all, she doesn't like the look on his face and the idea that he might still feel like that.

"And then..." he continues, seemingly unable to hear her, stuck on his head "when you least expect it, without really realizing it, it becomes just but a hum, on the back of your head, almost quiet, but there..., always there" he continues looking up far away into the stars as if he hasn't gotten tired of them, as id he still wants to... "What I'm trying to say is... "and he finally turns to look at her after that, looking so peaceful, so... content? "you get used to it Pidge, so much that, you find a friend on it, a certain... comfort? So much that, when you no longer have it... you just... want it back?" he tries to explain

"So... what you're trying to tell me is that during those 2 years with Krolia, you missed being alone and what? LEFT HER?!" she exclaims, feeling terrible for Krolia, the woman who finally found her son after all those years, only to have him run away from her!

"Kind of?" Keith admits sheepishly, surprising her again by not rising to her bait, and keeping calm in front of her accusation "It was just hard, you know? I got mainly used to being on my own, doing my own thing, even as a part of Voltron and more so as a Blade, so... it was kind of hard learning to be someone's son again"

"I do know..." she admits to him quietly, feeling weird having someone else voice her thoughts "so what did you do?" she asks

"You mean after going on my own for about a month?" he asks in an almost joky way "Well... I returned to the cave and try to apologize to her? and sort of explain?"

"How did that go?" she asks, laughing a little imagining Keith as a lost puppy with the tail between his legs, kind of like Kosmo after eating something he knows he's not supposed to

"Surprisingly well? Krolia... she understood more than I thought she would, and explain that she also felt like that at times since she has also been alone for must of her life" he continued "so we talked it out, and agree on staying together but give each other space when needed to, and to... actually, talk? I know, I know" he exclaimed at her incredulous look "I was not, and I'm still not the most open person but mom... well.." he looks away once again looking embarrassed, and dare she said it cute

"What made you return?" she asks, to help him get over it, but also 'cause...

"What do you mean?" he asks in return

"You said you were gone for about a month, right? 'cause you missed being yourself, by yourself, why did you return?" she elaborates

And he.... he just looks at her, with those deep unusual purple eyes, that seem to hide galaxies in them, and then he just gives her a rare smile, she swears she has never seen before

"Cause she is my mom, you know? and alone doesn't have to mean lonely" he finally tells her "just like together doesn't actually have to be together" he continues before rising from his spot and dusting himself

"What do you mean?" she asks quickly, ´cause she just knows he is about to leave

"You're smart Pidge, I think you know." he says looking at her "It didn't take long for Mom and I to figured it out, and I doubt it will take you and Collen that long either," he tells her, and just before she can yell at him, for being such a condescending prick, he's gone.

But..., she thinks about it, thinks about his words, about what he said, and most importantly about what he didn't say.  
And so... when the voice comes once again.

"Katie sweetheart, are you there?" 

She knows it's finally time to stop running away and simply... move forward.

**Author's Note:**

> So... this one has been sitting on my computer for a while now, 'cause just when I decided to write for people other than myself, I suddenly didn't have the time, anyhow I have been so busy that I don't know how active the fandom is anymore, but... today I finally got some time and decided to finish it.  
> I'm not entirely happy with how it ended 'cause I feel like I had another thing on my mind when I first started the story, but I no longer remember, so... anyhow, here we are anyway, so I hope someone at the very least likes it.  
> Stay safe, stay home if possible


End file.
